Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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