he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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