Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
