I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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