McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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