the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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