I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
