im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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