Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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