im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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