i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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