I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
