Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
