it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
