What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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