insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
