I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's shark week go big or go home
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
