I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
