so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
