I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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