In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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