where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
