my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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