Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
