I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
