she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
