this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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