If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
