The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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