I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
