Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
