I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
