I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
