I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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