so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
