How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so let's talk penis.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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