Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dicks are not precious.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
