Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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