no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
