called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
