Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
