just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
