But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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