Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just google imaged poop.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
