i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
