my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
