The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You don't make any sense
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