sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
