Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
