I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
